· Kevin Federline or Vincent Gallo?
· "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous" or "Guess Who"?
· Dining alone on finger chili, or a seven-course meal at 21 with Tom DeLay?
· Punked by a 13 seed in the first round, or by a 5th seed in the Sweet 16?
· Reading Hustler with Michael Jackson, or tongue-kissing Ann Coulter?
· Getting screamed at by Howard Dean, or getting a voice mail from Pat O'Brien?