Thursday, March 24

The company I keep.

Current events have inspired my family to engage in one of those ultra-involved multilateral e-mail "conversations" about living wills and what they want done should one of them end up brain-dead or in a vegetative state. Me, I'm thinking I don't even want to wait for the vegetative state, I'm just gonna ask one of 'em to off me now.

As you may already know, I am a Pet Shop Boys fan -- superfan, actually, maybe the only straight man in North America who can claim to have, in one format or another, every single they've ever put out. And today I find, through TBOGG, that James Lileks -- most boring writer in the history of ever, a man who is to commentary what Pat Boone is to rock music, a man so white he makes Jonah Goldberg look like 50 Cent -- is also a fan. Enough of one to have "Absolutely Fabulous" in his iTunes shuffle, in any case.

Dammit, and this day was going so well. All right, readers, let me hear it -- gunshot wound to the head? Mouthful of Xanax? Leave the car running in a closed garage? What's your recommendation?

13 comments:

Ann (not Coulter) said...

Well, seeing as how you don't actually have a garage, or even access to a garage, I'm going to have to suggest alcohol poisoning. I figured you'd at least enjoy getting that way, and hey, if it didn't work, all the reason to try again!

And hey, I do get the puppy, right? I mean, considering all of the truly unspeakable things she's done to my carpet already?

billy pilgrim said...

Very creepy. I am surprised you haven't just shuddered yourself to death in revulsion.

But then, I share an affection for Macs with ol' forehead boy, so I suppose it can be overcome.

Gotta be careful tho. Develop an affection for crap from Target and you're in deep trouble.

Cabbage Head said...

Aren't you brain dead already?

Michael said...

*SLAP*


You said to slap you if you ever came close to the Terry Shiavo subject again...

shelly said...

And another *slap* from me. Damn you! ;)

My suggestion? Overdose.

DougBot said...

I have this theory that if I hear the words "freedom haters" and "feeding tube" often enough in the same day, the skyrocketing blood pressure will give me an aneurysm and I'll shoot blood out of my eyes like in some Zatoichi flick.

Then there will be a big production number at the end with Underworld doing the soundtrack.

So Lileks likes Macs AND Pet Shop Boys? Maybe he can be brought back from the abyss he's been screaming into for years...

That Girl said...

Don't off yourself. I love you, and you make me laugh everyday... so your value is to be a vegitative love sponge and I wont allow the plug to be pulled on a love sponge.

Kevin Church said...

You wish you were the only straight PSB superfan in the states, bucky. (Oddly enough, I'm also from the south originally.)

Kevin Church said...

Oh, and Lileks can eat a bag of overripe dicks.

Vestal Vespa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vestal Vespa said...

Let's try that again:
a man so white he makes Jonah Goldberg look like 50 Cent

You always know how to make my day, Doug. Don't die- we all need you, your humor, and your precious stem cells for the next four years.

billy pilgrim said...

Yeah, I like the idea of the big dance number.

That's the way I want to go:

"And I just want to say this- urrrghk- " -thud-

And then the crowd goes into a show-stoppin' number. Song and dance, top hats and tails, like the end of Blazing Saddles.

Cool.

Mary said...

I think that girl already left the best comment that can be made.