You wouldn't believe how many e-mails and text messages I've received in the last 48 hours asking me about, of all things, my toaster oven.
Oh no wait, you would.
But anyway, just to put y'all's minds at ease, despite Georgia's nerve-wracking loss to South Carolina, my current toaster oven survived the weekend intact. I even toasted some bread just a few hours ago for dinner, in fact.
Now, if we lose to Western Carolina this weekend, that sumbitch is getting launched all the way to Selma. But until then . . .
Games watched: Alabama-Vanderbilt, Georgia-South Carolina, parts of Boston College-N.C. State and Oklahoma-Miami, most of South Florida-Auburn.
1. LSU (last week: 2)
There are 40 sportswriters and 42 coaches out there who really need to be grabbed by their respective lapels and asked, What on earth makes you so positive Southern Cal is better than LSU right now? USC has one mediocre demi-blowout of a piss-poor Idaho team on its résumé; LSU, meanwhile, just dropped 48 points and nearly 600 yards on last year's top-ranked defense. Hello? Anybody? Is this thing on?
2. Oklahoma (6)
Seventy-nine points against North Texas, you could say, "OK, but it was against North Texas." A 51-bomb on Miami's defense, though? That's a big deal.
3. Southern California (1)
4. West Virginia (3)
5. Wisconsin (5)
6. Ohio State (9)
7. California (7)
8. Florida (8)
9. Rutgers (11)
10. Arkansas (10)
11. Texas (24)
Back into respectable territory after adjusting brilliantly from a bad first half and blowing away an obvious upset aspirant. If I'm a 'Horn fan, though, the Red River Shootout scares me silly.
12. Penn State (16)
13. Oregon (26)
OK, so we already knew that Michigan's defense was a joke, but Oregon turned it into a bad one. You roll up 600-odd yards in the Big House, you get ranked.
14. Boston College (17)
15. Louisville (12)
I'm sure there's not a coach in the country who wouldn't love to have the Cards' offensive weapons to play with for a game or two, but that defense is going to get blown apart by West Virginia and Rutgers, and after this past weekend, perhaps South Florida's as well.
16. Georgia Tech (15)
Not to throw cold water on a 55-point blowout, but if they knew their rushing attack was top-shelf while their passing game needed work, why'd they only give Taylor Bennett nine passes to throw the entire game?
17. UCLA (20)
18. Nebraska (14)
19. Alabama (25)
The win in Nashville could've been more impressive, but at least Vanderbilt didn't play Bama as close as they usually do, even with a bad outing by John Parker Wilson to give them a hand.
20. Tennessee (29)
Wasn't sure how much faith I could put in them after the Southern Miss game, but upon further review, the Vols deserve a lot of credit for overcoming a worrisome first half, and for clamping down in a big way on the USM running game after being embarrassed by California's.
21. South Carolina (NR)
22. Georgia (13)
Well, we clearly still have some work to do, guys. Obviously we've got a lot of talent, but a Thanksgiving turkey isn't ready to come out of the oven after only 30 minutes and our offense wasn't quite ready to go against the Gamecocks. Alabama will be a huge test of whether we can get everything operating smoothly in time to make any kind of statement in the SEC East race.
23. Virginia Tech (4)
Ouch. Suffice to say I'll be refraining from making any major predictions on the Hokies for the rest of the year.
24. South Florida (NR)
25. Arizona State (22)
The next five: Hawaii (21), Iowa, Washington, Texas Christian (18), Clemson.
Dropped out: Texas Christian (18), Oregon State (19), Hawaii (21), Boise State (23).