Well, both Tennessee and Georgia went chasing after victory Saturday night, and Tennessee was the one who wound up happily smoking a cigarette and being served breakfast by victory when the smoke cleared, whereas Georgia was the one sitting at home alone weeping into a fully consumed pint of Chubby Hubby, asking her best friend on the phone if she's still attractive and will she ever find happiness again. Based on my history, you'd think that this would've resulted in all manner of home appliances being destroyed, but I actually watched the game over at my sister's apartment figuring that being surrounded by other people's possessions would make me much more circumspect about, you know, destroying them. As it turned out, this was a wise strategy.
I also could've vented my pent-up frustrations by submitting a completely bogus effed-up ballot to the Blogpoll, like voting Ohio University #1 and, when called on it, saying, "Tee-hee! I thought I'd put Ohio State," but I didn't do that either. I think it shows that I'm growing up.
Games watched: Arkansas-Auburn, Florida-LSU, Tennessee-Georgia, a good bit of Clemson-Wake Forest.
1. Ohio State (last week: 1)
2. Florida (7)
OK, Orson, I admit it, they're pretty flippin' good. Now please take your boot off my windpipe.
3. Michigan (4)
4. Tennessee (11)
Best one-loss team in the country? I, and the other members of Bulldog Nation who are mature enough to be honest with themselves, will answer yes.
5. Texas (6)
6. Southern California (5)
Consecutive close calls against good-but-not-that-good Pacific Northwest teams mean the backs of the Trojans' necks are feeling the hot, stanky hippie breath of . . .
7. California (14)
8. Louisville (8)
9. West Virginia (9)
10. Clemson (10)
Can't bump them up since they were down 17-3 going into the fourth quarter, but in their defense, that's the kind of comeback Clemson hasn't been able to muster against Wake Forest lately.
11. Notre Dame (15)
12. LSU (3)
Whoopsy. But they're still the best two-loss team in the country.
13. Arkansas (NR)
OK, no, they're probably not going to end the season in this spot. But at least for this week, there's simply no way you can put them below Auburn. That wasn't a ast-minute-field-goal, they-came-out-of-nowhere-on-that-final-drive win at Jordan-Hare, that was a furious, unrelenting, 60-minute ass-pounding. Just imagine what they're going to do when Mustain is fully up to speed.
14. Auburn (2)
Is it wrong to take immense pleasure in watching Tommy Tuberville being made to look like a ginormous asswipe? It isn't? All righty then.
15. Iowa (18)
16. Boise State (17)
17. Oregon (12)
18. Oklahoma (13)
19. Georgia Tech (16)
Can't let them off the hook for coming out sleepy against Maryland, but as with Clemson, past Chan Gailey teams would have given up long before that comeback.
20. Missouri (24)
21. Virginia Tech (19)
22. Georgia (20)
By dropping the Dawgs only two spots after getting kerranged by Tennessee, I may have gone from Georgia's most pessimistic fan to its most optimistic, but the Tennessee game was still Georgia's finest offensive effort to date, done in by a one-in-a-million confluence of parachutists, liquor-soaked cherries, cheerleaders, and unchanged underpants. This is not a great team, but they still have the tools to be a very good one.
23. Wisconsin (NR)
24. Nebraska (22)
25. Rutgers (NR/27)
Welcome, Scarlet Knights. Try the veal.
The next five: Wake Forest, Penn State, South Carolina, Alabama, Brigham Young.
Dropped out: Texas Tech (21), Florida State (23) (finally!), Boston College (25).