Wednesday, April 5

For a brief, shining moment, I, too, was a bad mutha (shut yo' mouth).


Above: complicated man.

This morning I had to run a magazine proof over to one of my clients -- a semi-urgent errand, I guess, but nothing remotely difficult, controversial, or dangerous -- so I picked up my iPod in preparation for the walk down 8th Avenue, put my headphones in, and hit "Shuffle Songs." The first song that came up? The theme song from "Shaft," by Isaac Hayes.

It's really amazing how the theme song from "Shaft" can completely transform whatever you happening to be doing at the time. Everything becomes braver, more dangerous, more urgent. You feel cooler than you usually do. There's more swagger in your step. For those four minutes, you really do feel like a black private dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks. You are a complicated man, whom no one understands but your woman. (In my case, of course, not having a woman, I am merely complicated man, period, end of sentence.) It's fun.

Like heavy bass, cheerleaders, and bacon, the theme song from "Shaft" improves pretty much anything you could think about adding it to. I feel it is important to salute Isaac Hayes for this. He's been through a lot lately, what with the stroke and the "South Park" dustup and the controversy over statements made on his behalf by Scientology; Scientology may be a crock of poo, but I don't want to let that detract from the awesomeness of Isaac Hayes in any way. For creating this day-transforming song, not to mention giving the wah-wah guitar a shining moment in the sun that has yet to be surpassed or even duplicated, I salute you, sir.

13 comments:

Kyle King said...

You're damn right.

Bill from JC said...

Watch yo mouth

Josh said...

Geez, Bill...

Bill from JC said...

yeah, I know, the "watch yo mouth" like actually comes after "he's a bad muthaf..." but Mr King didn't say that, and I didn't realize I was misquoting the lyric until after I had already posted.

Riley said...

And we can dig it.

Kyle King said...

Exactly, Riley.

Oh, and, Bill, I appreciate the respectful deference, but we're all friends here. You can call me Kyle.

Bill from JC said...

Why thanks Kyle. You may call me "Bill" or just "His Majesty Bill, Keeper of the True Faith and Protector of the Realm."

Kyle King said...

Fair enough, Your Majesty.

Speaking of protecting the realm, by the way, what is the "J.C." from which you hail? When I saw those initials, my first two thoughts were of junior college and the Savior (not in that order and not in that order of importance), but neither of those options seemed to make logical sense, given the context.

Josh said...

Juvenile corrections.

Dawgnoxious said...

I can almost understand Cynthia McKinney violating House Ethics rules by flying Isaac Hayes to a fundraiser using public money. I mean, she's not the first woman John Shaft drove to the brink.

Bill from JC said...

JC can mean different things to different people, but in regards to my name it refers to Johnson City, a transportation and College town in Northeast Tennessee, home of the worlds best BBQ and a once thriving underground music scene in which I once participated. Oddly, I don't live there now, and never actually did (I lived in a smaller nearby town called Gray, which has recently become reknown in palentology circles as the site of the largest fossil find in the last 50 years. The fossil site is located next to a Church that presumptively believes that the fossils don't actually exist) But I did go to school there. Our football team has been undefeated the last 2 years (the current adminstration dropped football 3 years ago) and at one time our basketball team was a regular at the NCAA's. Some say that UT football is like a religion in Upper East Tennessee. I can assure you that this is not accurate. Folks in JC don't take religion anywhere near that seriously. JC is home to the worlds largest ball bearing factory, and nearby is the largest producer of PET plastics. The appalachian trail also runs nearby and just a few miles up the road is the fifth largest sports arena in the world, Bristol Motor Speedway, which is why we snicker when other folks talk about how big the stadium is in their college town (there is currently a movement afoot to hold an annual UT/VA. Tech game at Bristol and the capacity would be around 200,000 or so for that I am told)

Anyway, that is JC in a nutshell, if you ever get up that way, drop by the Ridgewood and grab the BBQ platter. Tell 'em Bill sent ya.

Bill from JC said...

BTW Josh, "Juvenile Corrections"??? Too fuckin' funny. I salute you for your deadpan snark.

Bill from JC said...

Oh, the college in JC is ETSU. I did my undergrad and masters there. Currently doing a JD. When I get done with that I am thinking med school, probably back at ETSU, or a Doctor of Divinty at Vandy,,, but they count off for spelling at Vandy so maybe not.