Friday, February 17

Taking a look inside the toolbox.

Normally this spot would be occupied by a Friday Random Ten, but Ann had such a good one this morning that there's really nothing I can do to even hope of topping it, so instead I'll just solicit y'all's opinions on who the biggest tool of the week was. Besides Dick Cheney, who, let's be honest, is in the running for a lifetime achievement award.

Was it . . .

· Maryland Comptroller Donald Schaefer, who ogled a 24-year-old gubernatorial aide in front of a roomful of people, then said she "ought to be damn happy that I observed her going out the door," adding that "The one who's offended is me"?

· Former Creed frontdouche Scott Stapp, who, just days after being removed from his honeymoon flight due to public intoxication, has been revealed as the subject of a sex tape filmed on a tour bus with Kid Rock?

· American figure skater Johnny Weir, who blamed his fifth-place showing at the Olympics on a bus that arrived late to the skating rink, saying, "I was late getting here and never caught up. I never felt comfortable in this building. I didn?t feel my inner peace. I didn't feel my aura. Inside I was black"? (You didn't "feel your aura"? Dude, seriously, you don't have to say stuff like that. You're a male figure skater; we all know you're gay.)

Your votes and your suggestions are welcome . . .

5 comments:

billy pilgrim said...

Stapp has been aiming at Full Time Tool since Creed first hit the charts; a highlight, of course, was the Denny's Booty Call Incident. So yess, this was a tool moment, but one of so many that he's giving Deadeye Dick serious competition, and ol' Darth is about 300 years older than Scooter.

I gotta go with the Old Boy Comptroller. Such uncomprehending wronngheadedness! Yeah, I like at pretty women too, but this tool asked a subordinate to come back so he could watch her walk away again!

Such toolhood leaves one breathless.

Kevin said...

Dude, living here in Baltimore...there is a Schaefer blooper every month. The guy has gone completely nuts. He's one of those "I'm a Democrat, but I think Ehrlich is groovey" types.

My vote...Schaefer.

SmoothJimmyApollo said...

I did not realize comptrollers were a real thing. I thought they existed only for Supernintendo Chalmers to rip off.

Also, Frontdouche is a funny word and will be worked into my everyday conversation.

the depressed nurse said...

Enjoyed reading your blog.

paulwesterdawg said...

How bummed were the SNL guys that NBC had them on hiatus the very week that Cheney shoots a man?

Tough break.