For the first time in the brief history of the Friday Random Ten+5, you're getting to vote on which is the best of the five. This week is the Five Funniest Unintentional Innuendoes Of The 2007 Football Season, and once you've taken a gander at all of them you'll get to vote on the Unintentional Innuendo Of The Year. I actually kind of felt bad limiting it to 2007, though, because I would've loved to include John Madden's quote about San Diego TE Antonio Gates from a couple years ago ("He just jumps up and attacks balls") or Lee Corso's advice on proper offensive-line technique ("You've got to squat, drop your butt, and explode into the hole"). Ahh, good times.
But anyway, here's the Five:
"His package is going to expand as the season wears on."
-- Unnamed analyst quoted on JOX 100.5's morning show about Auburn coaches opening up the playbook for freshman QB Kodi Burns
"I rode him so hard. I was in his earhole . . . "
-- Phil Fulmer, referring to motivational tactics used on Tennessee placekicker Daniel Lincoln, as quoted by Dave Neal during Lincoln Financial's broadcast of the Alabama-Tennessee game
"If I'm Georgia, I'm gonna ride my hot guy right now."
-- CBS's Gary Danielson on Georgia tailback Knowshon Moreno, shortly before the Georgia-Auburn game
"And it winds up being Vince Hall coming in the face of Peter Lalich."
-- ESPN's Andre Ware during the Virginia-Virginia Tech game
"Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for our national anthem as it is played by the trombones of New Orleans's very own Bonerama."
-- PA announcer at the Louisiana Superdome shortly before kickoff of the Sugar Bowl
Got all that? Picked yourself up off the floor yet? OK, now vote:
And here's the Ten:
1. U2, "Mysterious Ways" (Massive Attack remix)
2. Pet Shop Boys, "To The Shore"
3. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "The Impression That I Get"
4. Pet Shop Boys, "A Red Letter Day" (Basement Jaxx vocal remix)
5. Chicane, "Autumn Tactics"
6. The Beastie Boys, "Bodhisattva Vow"
7. Fatboy Slim, "Right Here Right Now"
8. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, "You & Me & The Bottle Makes 3 Tonight (Baby)"
9. LL Cool J, "Mama Said Knock You Out"
10. The Clash, "This Is Radio Clash"
Throw your own Tens in the comments -- and by all means, if you've heard any funny commentator innuendos over the past 12 months, let me hear about those two. C'mon, we know we're all 10 years old deep down.