Wednesday, July 26

"There won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."

The little hit counter in the upper left-hand corner of this page read 250,072 when I fired up the ol' blog at lunchtime today, so I guess at some point today, probably right around the time I was waking up to the soothing sounds of NPR's "Morning Edition" on the trusty alarm clock, this site got its 250,000th visitor. Which means that I have now tricked people into thinking there's something worthwhile on this site on more than a quarter of a million separate occasions. Not bad for sixteen and a half months' work, and by "work" I of course mean "unqualified ranting and poopy jokes."

You may have noticed that posting has been a little, shall we say, sporadic over the last couple of weeks. Well, it may be that way for a while. I've been kicking around an idea for a novel in my head for a couple weeks now, and while I generally have three or four such ideas kicking around in my head at any given moment -- one of which is almost invariably the screenplay about Truth, Beauty, and Hot Hott Celebrity Hottness I've been trying to churn out for going on a decade now -- I've come to the conclusion that the idea I got recently needs to be bumped to the front of the line, before global political events and/or Armageddon render it obsolete. (I'm only halfway kidding about that one.) So I'm going to be devoting a little more time to that, and that time has to come from somewhere, and since it obviously can't come from work or my busy alcohol-consumption regimen, it's probably gonna have to come out of the blog.

This doesn't mean I'm going to stop blogging, it just means my schedule is going to be a little on the erratic side, and it's also probably going to include less politics than it did before. The novel idea I had is of a political nature, and between focusing on the novel and hearing every five minutes about some new feces-fan collision in the Middle East, I don't really want to spend too much time focusing on politics lest I go certifiably insane. But who knows, I may throw in a political post here and there, and you'll still get all the football, hot chicks, and celebrity humiliation you crave, especially once football season starts and I can resume schooling these two knob jobs in my fantasy league.

Actually, now that I think about it, there is a blog-related project-like substance I've been wanting to get started here for a while now, and in the rambling course of doing some background research on it I came across this very interesting item explaining Dr. Seuss's 1957 masterwork The Cat in the Hat as an allegory of the Vietnam War:

Well the cat (Government) is trying to talk the kids (the American People) into playing some games which will mess up the house. But the goldfish (conscience) is yelling, telling the kids to get the damn cat out of the house before they get in trouble. (It's right about here that the conscience basically turns into the War Protester.) So the cat does start playing all these games and the house does get very messed up. (That's the Viet Nam war). And the goldfish gets all beat up (just like the hippie peace lovers). And then there is this part where the cat is yelling for everyone to look at him because he can hold all these things at once--cup, milk, cake, books, rake, goldfish, toy ship, toy man, red fan--and bounce the ball at the same time. (Toy ship, toy man, red fan, get it?) But then the cat fell and everything fell all over and made a big mess. (That was the Tet Offensive of 1968.) And the goldfish said, "Do I like this? Oh, no! I do not. This is not a good game." (See, the goldfish turns into Cronkite at this point.)


Good stuff, right? I promise I'll keep trying to dig up this kind of shit even while I'm working on everything else.

3 comments:

Bill from JC said...

So Dr. Suess is the Nostradamus of the 50's? Seems a bit fetched to me. Besides, everyone knows that "The Cat in the Hat" is an metaphor for Morocco's gaining independance from France and Spain in 1956.

Cool Hand Mike said...

Deep shit Doug. I guess Horton Hears A Hoo is about Watergate. Just kidding.

Cool Hand Mike said...

I see you like Coupland. Ever read Life After God? If not, I highly recommend it.